A few weeks ago I would have shuddered at the idea of a life without love....but now I think that love, other than the love of friends and family is really just something....I don't know. Nonexistent? No, not that, I know it exists....it just seems that the price is too high to pay. Shadowed eyes and stringy, unkept hair and bleeding lips from being bitten and dried tears numbing your face.....its kind of disgusting. One can't just say that that is unrequited love, because I see it in other people's relationships where it actually exists between both people....when does the good turn to angry obsession? Maybe I'm in a phase, but its not like its an angry one. I'm not angry with love nor am I against it...I just think maybe I wasn't suited for it...or it for me. Its just frightening how much happier I am without it. No feelings of need, regret, fear, sadness, self-hatred. It was always built up in my mind...I thought I NEEDED it, like there was NOTHING good in life without it....I'd built up this decision that I couldn't get past, that I am nothing without another half to me. Now I know that I am everything without. The freedom overwhelms me, its so....high. I'm so high on it and I can't figure out how it is that I"m not afraid, I've ALWAYS been afraid...I'm afraid to not be afraid. :-)